The Soundtrack of Your Life

For some reason, I’ve been thinking a lot about music lately.  I had a discussion with one of the trainers at my gym yesterday morning about the importance of the music during the workout and as I thought about it I realized the music played an integral role.  The quality of my workout wasn’t dependent upon my mood or level of energy.  If the music was good, my workout was great.  If the music wasn’t as good, well, let’s just say I make it through. 

Music can profoundly affect our bodies.  It influences our heart rate, our blood pressure, and our respiration.  It can slow you down or rev you up.   

Music is intricately connected with our memories.  When I hear Kim Mitchell belting out Go for a Soda I am instantly transported to 1985 when a friend and I used to go for a “cruise” on warm summer days with that song blasting out the open windows. 

My life has changed somewhat since 1985.  The other day my daughter and I were in the car and we were both belting out Do You Know The Muffin Man? at the top of our lungs (by the way, I do, in fact, know the Muffin Man.  He lives in

Drury Lane

.)  Then, just like in 1985, the guys in the car next to me gestured for me to roll down the window.  Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to turn the music off before rolling down the window.  Now, Do You Know The Muffin Man? is not one of my top-rated songs but I do expect that it is now locked in my memory banks as a cue for remembering that great day I spent with my daughter (and, since my mind is my own and I can create any memory I want, those guys in the car next to me wanted to tell me I was cute instead of asking me whether I had a lighter). 

So what does the soundtrack of your life look like?  Do you have a theme song?  Do you have a play list of songs you can listen to when you’re feeling down?  A play list for when you’re feeling up? 

I encourage you to pick a theme song for your life.  Pick a song that reminds you of who you are.  There’s the classic I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor.  You Don’t Own Me by Lesley Gore.  If You’re Happy And You Know It.  What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong.  I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. The possibilities are endless.  This theme song will connect you with who you are or what you’re trying to accomplish at this point in your life. 

The theme song for my relationship is I Was Made For Loving You by KISS except my husband sings it like The Count from Sesame Street (go ahead and sing it to yourself now: I vas made for lovink you baby, you ver made for lovink me…).  

Go ahead and have fun with this.  Who are you now or who do you want to be?  Your mind is your own so you can pick any song you like. Sing it (out loud or in your head) when you need a reminder of how great you are or what you’re working towards. 

Until the next chapter,Lisa 

Tame The Dreaded Junk Drawer

March 24, 2007 

Tame the Dreaded Junk Drawer 

Admit it.  We all have one.  That drawer in your kitchen or home office where homeless items go to die.  A place where we store our rubber bands, breath mints, pens, paper clips, pennies, stamps, screwdrivers, twist ties, rolls of tape, bits of string, buttons that popped off that we’ve been meaning to sew back on.  The list goes on and on.  Did you find yourself nodding your head as you read through the list? 

I’m all for the junk drawer.  I think every home needs one because, let’s face it, there just can’t be a place for everything and everything in its place for every single item in your house.   

So while the junk drawer is a necessity, the “junkiness” of it isn’t.  If you once threw a knife in there and now you’re lopping off a finger every time you put your hand in, then it’s time to tame your drawer. 

1.      Take everything out of the drawer and assess it.  Is this drawer where it should stay or is there a better place?  Is this an item you need to keep at all?  I don’t know about you but it seems that the moment a paper clip enters my junk drawer it can kiss its proper shape good-bye.  There is some weird force in the drawer that bends it all out of shape so as to render it useless. 

2.      Wipe the drawer out.  The dust and dirt congregates in there, clinging together for safety.     

3.      Sort the items.  Put all the rubber bands together, all the pens and so on.  Inevitably, you’ll find some odd nut or bolt that you cannot identify.  Make sure you ask all members of your household whether they can identify it before you throw it out.  Trust me on this one.  I once threw out some rubber gasket thing that was an integral part of an air nailer.  My poor husband had to go digging through the garbage, his lips pressed together so tightly they turned white.  I can’t resist another tip:  don’t stand on the deck, drink in hand, shouting helpful encouragement. 

4.      Find containers you can use to sort everything.  I like to use old chequebook boxes and those handy Ziploc storage containers.  Other containers that would work include ice cube trays,
Dixie cups, muffin tins, and your ashtray collection from the 1970’s. 

5.      Put all the items into an appropriately-sized container and place in drawer. 

Congratulations!  You have tamed your junk drawer!   

Now, if anyone knows the name of that paper clip bending force, please let me know. 

Until the next chapter,Lisa 

Earn Your Merit Badge!

March 15, 2007 

Newton’s First Law: An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted on by an unbalanced force. 

My goal today is to act as that unbalanced force.  If you are currently an object at rest when it comes to organizing, then this is the newsletter for you! 

The idea for today’s newsletter is taken from You Can Do It: The Merit Badge Handbook for Grown-Up Girls.  This book was a labour of love for Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas who “imagined a book that would boost women’s self-esteem by helping them achieve their goals, realize their dreams, and embrace life’s joys and challenges to the fullest.”  Tragically, Lauren was killed in the events of September 11, 2001 before she could realize her own dream of seeing her book roll off the printing press.  Her sisters found her notes for the book and carried on the work she had started. 

In honour of Lauren and her dream, I’m encouraging each and every one of you to earn your organizing badge. 

Badge Steps 

1. Choose a space.

Choose an area that you can tackle within a short period of time.  It may be a shelf, a drawer or, if you’re like me, that pile of papers that grows out of control on the end of the dining room table.  This isn’t about organizing your entire home.  We’re just trying to become objects in motion.  Pick something small. 

1. Gather supplies.

You may need garbage bags, cleaning supplies, boxes for sorting (think give away, garbage and keep).  This is not the time to run out and buy storage containers.  You may want to do that when you have an idea of what you’re going to store or you may decide to use containers or items you already have in your home.  Also think about the supplies that make the job easier such as a cup of coffee or tea and some good music. 

1. Clear everything out of the space.

Remove everything from your drawer, shelf or closet and then clean the space you’ve emptied. 

1. Sort.

Go through everything you’ve cleared out of the space.  Decide what you’ll keep, what belongs elsewhere and what you want to get rid of.  Deciding what to get rid of is usually the toughest part.  Anything you’re not keeping should be either recycled or given away as much as possible.  I prefer to use garbage as a last resort.  Anything with your personal information on it should be shredded.  Items you’re keeping should be put where you use them most. 

1. Organize your space.

You’re left with a clean, empty space and only the items that should go there.  Is there anything you need to sort the items (i.e. clean containers, divider trays, hooks, baskets)?  Many household items can be re-purposed as divider trays (small boxes for jewelry or chequebooks, old ashtrays, unused muffin tins).  Put the items back in the space in a way that makes sense. 

1. Celebrate.

Have a look at your work and congratulate yourself. Doesn’t it feel good to have this clean space? 

You’ve earned your merit badge!!  Print it out and put it somewhere where you can see it and remind yourself how great it felt to accomplish this goal.  Stick it to your fridge, smack it on your car’s bumper or slap it on your forehead. 

YOU DID IT! 

 

 

Until the next chapter,Lisa 

Categories of Stuff

March 7, 2007 

In the last post we talked about the need to minimize our stuff, maximize our space and maintain our organizing systems.   

Just what is all this “stuff” we have in our lives?  What is it for?  What is its value?  Sometimes this can be very hard to determine. 

Our “stuff” can be categorized by examining each item’s function and emotion. 

Functional value is related to how important or useful an item is.  A KitchenAid mixer will have high functional value to the person who loves to cook and low functional value to those of us to have all the local take-out restaurants on our speed dial.   

Items can also be described in terms of emotional or sentimental value. A lock of your child’s hair is kept purely for emotional reasons. 

All of the items that people own fall into one of four categories: 

·        Treasure – high emotion, low function 

·        Tools – low emotion, high function 

·        Toys – high emotion, high function 

·        Trash – low emotion, low function 

Once you categorize your items into one of these four groupings, it’s easier to determine what you should do with these items. 

Treasure 

Treasures need to be either beautifully displayed or carefully stored.  Is it something that you love to look at and makes you feel happy when you see it?  It needs to be displayed so you can enjoy it.  If it’s something that you want to keep but it doesn’t make you particularly happy to look at then you should store it. 

 

Tools 

Tools have a function but little or no emotional value.  A hammer or a vacuum cleaner are examples of tools.  These should be stored in a convenient place where they’re easy to get at when needed. 

Toys  

Toys are items that are functional but also have a high emotional value to the owner.  We used to have a neighbour who was out every single Saturday lovingly washing and waxing his car.  The car was functional in the sense that it took this neighbour where he needed to go but it was also emotional because he loooooved to keep that car looking good.  Toys should be stored where they are ready to use and easily enjoyed. 

Trash 

These are items you don’t use and don’t like.  These are the things we need to part with.  Donate, recycle or throw them away.  They serve no purpose in your home other than to take up space. 

Once you start to think about your stuff in terms of these four categories, it becomes much easier to decide whether to hang on to it and where to keep it. 

Reader feedback 

I love to get e-mail from my readers.  After the last post entitled “Minimize, Maximize and Maintain” I received a tongue-in-cheek e-mail from someone who said he almost deleted my newsletter because he read the subject line and thought it was one of those spam e-mails he always receives.  Once I finished laughing because I realized he was right, I had a look at this latest newsletter.  You’ll notice I didn’t put in the subject line “Tools, Toys, Treasure and Trash.”  J 

Until the next chapter,Lisa 

 

Minimize, maximize and maintain

February 22, 2007 

I have found in my coaching practice that many people say they don’t have time for new goals because they are so busy coping with the day-to-day busy-ness of their lives.   

Much of this busy-ness occurs because there aren’t adequate systems set up to maximize efficiency at home or at work.   

For the next several weeks, I will be focusing on practical tips for organizing your space and your routines.  At this point I’m not asking you to do anything other than read through the posts and begin to think about the concepts I’m introducing here.  In a few weeks I will offer up a challenge for you to put these concepts to use (however, if the information presented over the next few posts does inspire you to organize something, please don’t let me stop you!!).    

Being organized isn’t about having a home that looks as if it could appear in the pages of House & Garden Magazine.  It’s about having a space that allows everyone to live, work, play, eat and sleep to maximum enjoyment – however that looks to you. 

There are three basic tenets to being organized – minimize, maximize and maintain. 

Minimize 

This is one of the most important concepts in organization and often one of the most difficult.  Many of our things could or should be recycled, donated or thrown away.  Really, who hasn’t received a gift that they really dislike but they hang on to it because it’s what they feel they “should” do.  My husband kept a shirt that was a gift from me hanging in his closet for four years.  When I finally told him it was okay to donate it because I knew he didn’t like it (he wore it only once out of a sense of duty), the look of relief on his face was priceless.  My husband, who has a hard time getting rid of anything, drove that shirt to Goodwill that very day! 

Maximize 

Maximizing is about using space and appliances to their best advantage.  Shelving, clear plastic containers, and multi-use products all maximize space and efficiency.  As an example of maximizing space, when looking at a room think in terms of “prime real estate.”  Items that are used most often or are most cherished should occupy prime real estate. 

Maintain 

Being organized is a process, not an end goal.  Maintaining systems takes a little bit of time each day.  The time spent maintaining, however, saves us time and money down the road.  We know where things are and don’t have to spend time looking for them.  We don’t go out and waste time and money purchasing duplicates when we can’t find an item.  When our bills get paid on time, we avoid finance charges.   

Saving even a mere 10 minutes a day adds up to 70 minutes in a week.  That’s more than a full hour a week to pursue an activity you enjoy.  

What will you do with your extra hour? 

Until the next chapter,Lisa

Celebrating Ourselves

February 12, 2007 Wow!  What a response I received to the last post on the topic of learning from mistakes.  It appears that a few of you out there reading this have made a mistake or two  J   

In the last entry, I wrote about some of the steps involved in learning from your mistakes.  Many of you followed those steps and e-mailed me about your experiences.  Some of you wrote about how you were able to forgive yourself for your mistakes (although this often wasn’t easy).  This got me thinking that I should have included a last step – celebration.  After all, shouldn’t we be celebrating a chance to learn something new?  And, since we’re all so skilled at beating ourselves up after a mistake, I got to thinking that it would be nice if we could become just as skilled at celebrating ourselves. This week, in honour of Valentine’s Day, I decided to put out a invitation and encourage everyone reading this post to take a bit of time to celebrate yourself.  You can celebrate an accomplishment, the opportunity to learn from a mistake, or simply do it just to acknowledge your wonderful, imperfect self. 

Because we don’t tend to be as skilled at celebrating ourselves, I’m including a list of suggestions to get you started.  Have fun! Until the next chapter,

Lisa 

Go to the library

Take yourself to lunch

Sleep in

Have a bath

Watch a silly movie

Colour a picture

Get a massage

Close your eyes and think of someplace warm for five minutes

Say yes to something new

Say no to something

Spend the day in your pyjamas

Make a snow angel

List 5 things you do well

Pet a dog or a cat

Bake a white cake and put food colouring in the batter

Let someone do you a favour

Listen to your favourite music

Rearrange a room

Try a new flavoured coffee or herbal tea

Turn up some music and sing along

Read a good book

Enjoy some alone time

Send a card to yourself

Call a good friend

 

When Mistakes Happen

February 2, 2007 

Last week I found myself in the rare situation of having some time to kill.  Having just received a gift certificate to a local bookstore that was calling my name and urging me to spend it, I decided to do a little shopping. 

I was browsing through the self-help section, marveling at the vast array of books promising to make my life, if not perfect, at the very least much better than what it already was.  The Only Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need! The Power of Positive Thinking!  Live Your Best Life! they screamed.  And then, tucked in amongst all the other tomes, was a tiny little book, so tiny I almost missed it, entitled The Joy of Doing Things Badly.  Finally!!  An author who appreciates that I am not perfect. A book that does not proclaim to tell me what I am doing wrong.  Instead, this was a book that seemed to wait quietly on the shelf until I picked it up and only then proceeded to pat me on the shoulder saying “Sure, you’re going to mess things up occasionally.  That’s okay.  Take those mistakes and learn from them.” 

The reality is we do make mistakes.  Every single one of us.  The only way to learn from a mistake is to stand up and admit you made it (even if you’re admitting it only to yourself).  This is difficult to do in a society that does not look kindly upon that other “F” word – failure.   

Many people give up on their goals because they don’t anticipate mistakes or setbacks.  The fact is that the more challenging the goal, the more likely mistakes and setbacks will occur.  

How to learn from mistakes? 

• Accept responsibility for the mistake
• You have the power to choose how you respond to a mistake
• Making a mistake does not mean you are a failure
• What kind of changes can you make to avoid the same mistake again?

 

Often mistakes can lead to benefits.  After all, inventions from penicillin to Post-Its™ came about as the result of a mistake. 

Until the next chapter,Lisa 

Assess where you’re at!

January 23/07

In the last post we talked about the concept of baby steps and building a solid foundation for our goals.  In this post we’re going to expand on the idea of building that firm foundation.  To set effective goals, you need to be realistic about where you’re currently at.  If you’ve made it a goal to run a marathon in two months but right now you can’t walk around the block without a little heavy breathing you’re setting yourself up to fail.  Set a goal that starts to build the foundation to run a marathon.  Start by making it a goal to walk two blocks with ease within a certain period of time, for example.  You may not be running that marathon in two months but you’re definitely on the right path to doing it at some point.  Once you reach that goal of walking two blocks easily, you’re definitely better off than where you were previously. 

Conversely, if you’re already running a half marathon without breaking a sweat, your goals will be quite different.  It’s really a matter of being honest with ourselves about where we’re at.   

Remember the two concepts we’ve talked about so far: SMART goals and baby steps.  You need to set goals in small increments based on where you are now.   Want to drink more water?  How much do you drink now?  If you don’t drink any water, don’t make it a goal to drink eight glasses tomorrow.  Trust me, your bladder will thank you for this.  Make it a goal to drink one glass a day for the next week.  Sure, you’re short of the daily intake recommendation of six to eight glasses but if you drink one glass a day you’re doing way better than you were last week when you weren’t drinking any.  That’s SMART and baby stepping. It takes approximately three weeks to establish any new habit.  Making small, slow changes makes it much easier to stick with them.  Each change builds upon the last one and each change should be well established before you add a new one.  

Picture a set of stairs where you climb one step at a time.  Each step also has a level place where you can rest if you need to. Establishing a new habit slowly will give it more staying power.  Once you’ve been drinking a couple of glasses of water daily for a few weeks you will definitely notice when one day you don’t drink the amount of water you’ve become used to.   

Setting small goals based on a realistic evaluation of where we are at right now keeps us from becoming overwhelmed by the enormity of what we’re trying to accomplish.  What a pity to be so overwhelmed that you don’t even start!  When you accomplish your small goal, you can congratulate yourself.  This success will spur you on to try for another success.  You did it!    Until the next chapter,

Lisa 

Baby Steps

January 13, 2007 

 

In today’s issue we’re going to talk about the concept of baby steps in goal setting and we’re going to look at that amazing achiever – the baby! 

Babies are born basically helpless and rely completely on their caregivers to survive.  At birth, their biggest skill is crying so as to draw attention to themselves in order to get their needs met.  By the end of their first year, most babies have mastered many important skills such as: 

• feeding themselves with their fingers or a spoon
• beginning communication with their caregivers through gestures and sounds
• many will be walking or close to it.

 

Babies did not gain all these skills overnight.  There were many important steps that built the foundation for their successes.  For example, learning to walk requires some physical abilities: 

• they need to be able to keep their heads upright
• they need to develop torso and leg strength to stay standing
• they need to develop balance as they wobble back and forth uncertainly. 

 

All of these skills develop over a long period of time. 

In addition to taking these small steps to develop their skills, another thing babies need is attitude!   

Have you ever watched a baby learning to walk?  My daughter used to grip the couch with all her might, back and arm muscles straining as she pulled herself upright.  The first few times she tried it she didn’t have the strength and fell back to the floor with a thump.  Did she let that stop her?  Not on your life!  She had attitude.   

We all did at some point.  If we didn’t have a “can do” attitude, we never would have learned to walk, talk, and eat with a spoon.  Babies never fling their hands in the air saying “Forget this whole thing!  I can’t do it!”  They may thump onto their butts and have a little cry.  As soon as they’re done, though, they’re up and at it again. 

There are two things we can learn from babies when it comes to reaching our goals.  The first is that we have to build the foundation for our goals.  We don’t expect babies to walk (or even sit up, for that matter) in the first few weeks.  So why do we expect that we can make huge strides towards our goals in only a short amount of time?  

The second thing we can learn from babies is attitude.  You had it at one point in your life.  I know this because, at the very least, you’re able to work a computer well enough to get this e-mail. You can read it, too.  That skill didn’t come in one day.  

Sure, it’s okay to sit on your butt and have a little cry.  Then get up and try again.   

Until the next chapter,Lisa 

SMART goals

January 3, 2007

Since this is the start of the new year, many of us will be making New Year’s resolutions.  The most common resolutions are to lose weight, exercise more and quit smoking.   As we know, most resolutions have gone out the window by the end of January.  While I am in favour of setting exciting goals that stretch you I also don’t like to see people set themselves up to fail so the topic of today’s newsletter is setting SMART goals. 

S = Specific

M = Measurable A = Attractive

R = Realistic

T = Time limited 

SMART goals include all of these features. 

Examples of goals that are not SMART: 

I will eat better. I will become well-read.

Examples of goals that are SMART: 

I will make vegetables the main ingredient in dinner three times this week.

I will read three chapters a week in A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway until I have finished it..

A goal needs to be specific.  What will you do?  How will you do it? When will you do it?  It needs to be measurable.  How will you know when you’ve completed it if it’s not measurable?  If the goal is not attractive you will have no motivation to reach it.  Ask yourself why you’re setting this goal and what the benefits will be.  A goal needs to be realistic and attainable.  Setting a goal to lose 20 pounds before the cocktail party next week is unrealistic.  Setting a goal to lose one to two pounds is do-able.  Finally, you want it to be time-limited.  Changing behaviour is hard!  Knowing you only have to incorporate vegetables as a main ingredient in dinner three times this week is easier to think about than thinking about doing it the rest of your life.  At the end of this week when you accomplish this goal, you’ll celebrate.  Then you’ll set a new goal for next week.  Coming next time:  The concept of baby steps. 

Until the next chapter,Lisa