Avoiding Procrastination

Procrastination.  We think of it as a dirty word.  Our culture has led us to believe that people who procrastinate have no willpower or are lazy.

The truth is that all of us procrastinate some of the time.  Let’s face it, there’s always something better to do than what you’re supposed to be doing.  For as much as I enjoy writing this newsletter, I can think of a thousand half a dozen things I’d rather be doing.  

Procrastinators are not lazy people.  They’re not just sitting around doing nothing.  They’re running around doing something else.  When I was in grad school, with assignments coming out my ears, my laundry was always done, beautifully folded, and put away.  In my life before or since grad school, my laundry has never been so lovingly cared for.

Procrastination is not something that can be “cured.”  There are always a number of things that we could spend our time on.  Technically, you’re always procrastinating on something.  Procrastination can work to a certain point because often when we are avoiding one thing we are doing something else that needs to be done anyways.  That whole laundry thing in grad school did help me in the quest to win friends and influence people.The problem comes in when there’s a task that we’re not doing that affects our functioning.  If I had continued to procrastinate on school assignments, I wouldn’t have graduated.  All that effort, time and money (not to mention self-respect) lost.

Twenty percent of people, that’s one in five of us, rate themselves as chronic procrastinators (source: Psychology Today article. Procrastination: 10 Things to Know http://psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20030823-000001.html ).

Think about the things you tend to procrastinate on.  How important are they?  If they’re not very important to you, maybe its time to let those things go.  If you believe they are important to you and you still can’t get going, read on.

Procrastination can happen for many reasons:

·        You’re feeling overwhelmed by all the things you have to do

·        You don’t know where to start

·        You don’t know how to start

·        High expectations or perfectionism cause you not to start at all 

Tips for overcoming procrastination: ·        Figure out why you’re procrastinating on a task.  A few weeks ago I wrote about how my husband and I were procrastinating on doing some home renovations.  The problem was in the decision-making.  What if we were wrong?  Well, what if? The reality is that, even if a couple of decisions didn’t turn out to be the best ones, what we would end up with was going to be way better than where we were at.

·        Imagine how you’ll feel once the task is complete.  Put yourself in the position of being done.  How will that feel?  Pretty good, I bet.

·        Turn the project into a series of smaller tasks.  If looking at the big picture overwhelms you, don’t look at it.  Make your action plan and focus on the one task before you.

·        Be accountable to someone else.  Tell your partner, your friend, your coach, that this is what you plan to do.  Make a date to follow up with that person.

·        Create a deadline.  When you make your deadline, reward yourself. 

·        Consider a coach.  I offer a complimentary 45-minute consultation to help you figure out whether coaching is right for you.

Whew!  Finished another newsletter…and just under deadline.  As a bonus, my laundry is all done too.

Until the next chapter,

Lisa

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Well, I am back from holidays and ready to go!  

 I love this time of year.  My favourite commercial of all time is the Staples back to school commercial where we see a dad, joyously riding down the school supply aisle in a shopping cart, while two kids trudge dejectedly behind him.  The music playing in the scene is It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.  Clearly not for these two kids.

I have to admit that I have always loved school.  Well, okay, not the school part so much as the learning part.  I’m very happy to be away from the hormone-addled, bra-snapping boys.  

Then I got married.

But I digress.

Back to school time always felt to me like a new beginning.  I loved going to buy all my fresh new school supplies and getting them all ready for the first big day.  My favourite part was putting brand new paper in my fresh clean binder, a binder that contained no trace of all the doodles from last year, where I would write my first name followed by the last name of the boy I was currently in love with surrounded by hearts of all sizes.   

Yep, a chance to begin again.  I am so over you, Todd!

After backcombing my hair, slouching my socks just right, and slapping on my Swatch Watch (it was the 80’s, people!), off I went to conquer a new year of school.

As an adult, I still feel that same thrill when September rolls around.  Everything is starting back up again – school, groups, activities.  Many people say that September is actually a better time to be setting goals.  There’s that sense of renewed energy in the air as everyone gets back into their familiar routines.Is there something that you’d like to try this fall?  Is there some small change you’d like to make? Some topic you’d like to learn more about? 

 Your binder is fresh and new.  What are you gonna put in it or on it?

Until the next chapter,

Lisa

Ordinary Miracles

Eddie Murphy, when asked during an interview by Barbara Walters whether he was happy, said that he used to think that happiness was something you achieved.  That now he realizes you don’t “achieve” happiness.  It’s something that comes and goes, and comes and goes again, no matter who you are or what you’re doing.

I have to say I agree wholeheartedly.  Things change.  People change.  Circumstances change.  If we go through life expecting that every moment we will be happy we are going to be thoroughly disappointed.

Not that I’m saying we should go around expecting the worst to happen like a bunch of sad sacks either.  I’m saying that we should accept that we won’t always be leaping for joy.  In fact, there may be days where we’re just trying to make it through the next few hours, days or weeks.

And that’s okay.

And normal.

Where we can make a difference, though, is in being more conscientious in noticing the ordinary things.  For instance, I’m writing this newsletter on a Saturday morning.  Usually on weekends, I am woken up at 7 am or so by my enthusiastic three-year-old who stands at my side of the bed, right at my head, and yells “Sutton!  Get out of the rack!”  Who taught her that?

Now, while I think that’s kind of special in and of itself, this morning I woke up at 6 am, went downstairs and had coffee and read my book for three whole hours all by myself before the husband and child woke up.  Oh joy! Oh bliss!  This never happens and is very exciting for me.

Now, as I write this, my daughter and I are sitting on the couch.  She’s watching Winnie-the-Pooh and I’m writing.  We’re each involved in our own activity but we seem to be doing it together (okay, I am getting a play-by-play of what Pooh is up to).

 My point is that these are the moments that should be noticed.  There’s nothing extraordinary about them.  In fact, they happen all the time.  This is precisely why they don’t get noticed.  They’re so ordinary we don’t appreciate them.

Maybe we should take these ordinary moments and notice how truly fabulous they are.  Then we can deposit them into our memory banks and withdraw them later when we need them.  We’ll also get better at noticing that stuff that is going right during those tough times.This is the stuff of life.  Those ordinary miracles. 

 Happiness comes and goes but the ordinary miracles are here to stay…if you notice them.

Until the next chapter,

Lisa