June 25, 2007
Often, when we think of a habit, we focus on our bad habits. We lament that we watch too much television, drink, smoke or eat too much, spend too much money…and all the rest of those habits we consider “bad.” You don’t need me to list them. You know what they are. I’m sure you could rattle off your bad habits in no time flat. We’re all good at that.
This type of thinking isn’t helpful at all. All this does is encourage us to feel bad about ourselves. It’s not serving you in any way. Let’s flip that thinking around and start to talk about good habits. I bet if I asked you what they are you’d have a more difficult time listing them off for me. I know you have some, though. Brushing your teeth before bed? Having enough (okay, some) fruits and veggies every day? Hugging your kids once in a while?
Now think about good habits you’d like to establish. Adding flossing to the nightly tooth brushing routine? Drinking more water? Having a regular date with your partner?
If some part of your life isn’t working, make a decision to add one good habit (rather than trying to break a bad habit). Focus on what could be improved.
þ Get really clear on your motivation for building this habit. Are you establishing a regular date with your partner because you want to improve your relationship or because you want to try new restaurants in the city? Are you flossing because you want to improve your overall health or because you want to avoid having your dental hygienist give you the flossing lecture again? Your reasons are personal but it’s important you know what they are. When you feel your motivation dropping, you can remind yourself of why you’re doing this in the first place.
þ Make a plan to establish the habit. Decide when and how you’ll do it. Maybe you need to make a standing date with your babysitter as well as your partner. Maybe you need a checklist taped to the wall to tick off when you do your habit
þ Be prepared to re-work your plan. Be flexible about it. We can’t anticipate every situation that could come up. Your plan may fail. That doesn’t mean you have failed. Be prepared to adjust.
þ Practice, practice, practice! We get so skilled at our bad habits because they’re easy and we practice them a lot. I practice not flossing nearly every day. Good habits take practice too. It is said that if you can perform a good habit consistently for 3 weeks then that habit is…well, it’s a habit. It becomes routine. You won’t have to try so hard anymore.
þ Reward yourself. It’s a tough job to establish a new habit. Make sure you celebrate your success!
Well, I’m off to floss. I hate that lecture.
Until the next chapter,Lisa
